The Hubby


This handsome man is my husband.  He stands by my side and watches our kiddos on Saturday mornings while I’m out doing my craft.
Funny story, one of our first Valentines Days, he picked me up to go out to dinner. He was dressed nicely and I answered the door to him with his hands behind his back. Honestly, I was expecting flowers, because, well Valentines Day. When he pulled his hands out from behind his back he was holding…. a bucket of vegetables nestled in tissue paper. I didn’t really know what to think. Typically a girl expects flowers, or chocolates, or some other pretty gesture. I’d never put it together that we link these things because we think something along the lines of, “these flowers are pretty. He thought of me when he picked out these flowers. He thinks I’m pretty like these flowers are pretty.” I realize that reduces the appearance of my thought process down to something embarrassingly simple, and I have not excuse for that. I’d never analyzed before why I wanted flowers for Valentines Day.
HIS thinking was quite the opposite. He wanted to show me a thoughtful gesture, not like all those other dudes “running by Publix on their way home to pick up some flowers for their wife or girlfriend” (I’m guessing he assumed this appeared thoughtless to be done so last minute and without planning on their parts). No, he wouldn’t be like them (although he was because he was in Publix to get flowers when he decided he thought he’d be lame to do the same as every other guy), so instead, he selects various veggies that he knows I’ll be able to use for cooking, because he knows I like to cook. There are obvious flaws in this thought process, but in hindsight I can’t fault him for trying. The day he gave me this bucket of veggies, I didn’t think of any of that, 19 year old Sarah only saw, “veggies. Vegetables aren’t pretty. He doesn’t think I’m pretty.” (also a thought process full of obvious flaws, but… you know, 19 years old). I can remember literally chocking back tears  as I tried to tell wether or not he was serious with his gift.  When he looked at me with such care in his eyes, I realized he was. I had a hard time chocking back tears all evening. We ended up having a lovely dinner at a local restaurant.
A few months later I finally told my best friend about his gift. I’d been too embarrassed to share it in fear of what she would think of him. I know he meant well, but I just couldn’t help but have been hurt by it. I eventually told him how it made me feel and we moved past it.
As a gesture of proof at how far we’ve come since those early, emotional, naive days, he jokingly includes the ugliest root vegetable he can find along with beautiful flowers each Valentines Day. We laugh realizing how young were were, how ridiculous we were, how much life has changed, and how unimportant that event was in the grand scheme of things. <3
 

When was the last time you looked at an old family photo and thought, 'I wish fewer people were in this'?

Probably never.

That is exactly why I always say yes when families ask whether they should include the grandparents, the cousins, the aunt and uncle who are only in town for a few days.

When you are not sure, say yes anyway. We will find a way to make it work.
A few things I want every family to know before a multigenerational session.

Start with the group shot - always. I photograph the full group first, before anything else, so every person in attendance (including the ones who drove the farthest) knows the most important image is already done. From there, we move through smaller groupings with a lighter energy.

Tell me about mobility before we choose a location. If a grandparent or family member has any physical considerations, I need to know before we land on a spot. There is always a way to create beautiful images that honor everyone present - I just need to know what we are working with so I can plan for it.

Mornings are almost always better for the little ones. Babies and toddlers are near-universally happier before the afternoon hits. When multiple generations are present, timing the session well makes a real difference in the energy of the whole group.

And if there are any family dynamics I should be aware of - specific pairings that need extra care, or groupings you would prefer I not suggest - please tell me. It keeps everything moving warmly, and it protects everyone from an awkward moment in front of the camera.

Planning is how multigenerational sessions go well. I am always happy to talk it through before your session date. Contact me through my website, link in bio.
I photographed the same extended family twice.

The first time, it rained. They were troopers about it. We had already scoped out a covered porch at the location just in case the weather had other ideas, and that porch became our backdrop. We made something beautiful out of what could have been a wash.

The second time, they came back with new additions. Beach house on Alligator Point. Grandparents out on the water with the grandchildren. Big group moments and smaller family units. Easy, relaxed, and real.

What I remember most about both sessions is the feeling at the end. A kind of collective exhale. Like everyone knew they had just done something that mattered and would keep mattering long after that day.

That is the thing about showing up even when the conditions are not perfect. The photos do not know it rained.

Read more about Extended family/Multigenerational family photos in this month's blog post. Link in bio.

Memberships and Affiliations

Sarah Gray Photography | Professional Photographer of America Member
Sarah Gray Photography | The Motherhood Anthology Member

Sarah Gray creates timeless and joyful images that are designed for living room walls and photo albums. A tallahassee photographer, Sarah Gray also serves Thomasville, Crawfordville, St. Marks, Gainesville and throughout the panhandle of north Florida and south Georgia.

email us | sarah@sarahgray.com

telephone (850) 321-0208

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located in tallahassee, florida